[harp music plays] [竖琴音乐播放]

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Ahh I love playing this harp, it relaxes me 啊我喜欢玩这个竖琴，它使我感觉放松

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Huh? I was never shot 咦？我从来没有拍

I was never assassinated - I'M ALIVE!!! 我从来没有暗杀 - 我还活着！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

No (what?) You were shot; you're in Heaven 没有（什么）你被枪杀;你在天堂

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

No, no - you're St. Peter aren't you? 不，不 - 你是圣彼得，不是吗？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

What??!! St. Peter?! 什么？ ！圣彼得？

I'm Jesus! (Oh!) 我耶稣！ （呵呵！ ）

God damn you! 去你妈的！

St. Peter's a big, fat shit, with a hydrocephalic head 圣彼得大教堂是一个又大又肥妈，有脑积水头

(I'm sorry) Disgusting looking! （对不起）恶心看！

(I'm sorry) How could you confuse? （对不起），你怎么能混为一谈？

Maaan, look I got the classic beard, and the robe Maaan ，看看我得到了经典的大胡子，和长袍

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

You're clearly Jesus (and the sandal feet) 你清楚耶稣（和凉鞋的脚）

You're clearly Jesus, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!! 你是耶稣清楚，对不起，对不起！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Take a look down there at the bottom of the robe 看看那里的长袍底部

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Yeah what at your sandals? 是啊，在什么样的鞋？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

What do you see? No between the feet 你看到了什么？无脚之间

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Is.. is that the tip of your? 是...是你的小费？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

It's the tip of my dick 这是我的鸡巴的尖端

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

No way! (Jesus has a Four foot dick) 没办法！ （耶稣有一个四英尺家伙）

That's incredible how'd you... well you're Jesus! 这是令人难以置信的，你怎么......嗯，你是耶稣！

(Of course!) Yeah （当然！ ）是啊

What do your balls look like? 什么是你的球是什么样子？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Let me.. let me tell you 让我...让我来告诉你

I thought to myself Jesus, you're Jesus 我心想耶稣，你是耶稣

What could you give yourself 还有什么比你给自己

that nobody else in the universe would have? 没有其他人在宇宙中也有吗？

Allow me to hike up my robe here (ahh) 请允许我在这里加息了我的长袍（啊）

Clear balls - with goldfish swimming around in them! 清除球 - 周围游动的金鱼在其中！

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

That's inc.. look how cute they are! 这就是INC ..看看他们是如何可爱的！

There's like a little castle in there 这里就像一个小城堡在那里

(Castle, treasure chest, skeleton) （城堡，百宝箱，骨架）

And a little diving man, it's so cute 和一点点潜水的人，它是如此可爱

(Heh heh heh heh) （嘿嘿嘿嘿）

I could spend the whole day there (I'm sayin!) 我可以花一整天在那里（我在说！ ）

When you're having sex with a women doesn't that... 当你遇到一个女人做爱不说...

Isn't that painful I mean it's gotta be! 是不是觉得痛苦我的意思是得是！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Well let me tell you what I'd do I would magically just extend their cervix 那么，让我告诉你我会怎么做，我只是奇迹般地延长宫颈

'til up to about their sternum (oh okay I see) 直到达到他们的胸骨（哦，没关系喔）

or throat area and that generally makes it fine 或咽喉区，并且通常会使细

But to tell you the truth, I 不过说实话，我

I'm not really having sex with women too much these days 我并不是真的做爱的女性太多，这些天

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Really? 真的吗？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

To tell you the truth I'm actually having sex with um 告诉你，我确实有与UM性爱真相

It's a creature of my own uh, imagining if you will (ohh) 这是我自己的的恩生物，想象如果你愿意（呜呜呜）

I searched my imagination and thought what, what 我搜索我的想象，以为是什么，有什么

What's the creature that I Jesus find most attractive? (Huh) 什么是生物，我觉得耶稣最有吸引力？ （呵呵）

And it turns out it's kind of a, a dinosaur dragon bird type creature 而事实证明它的种类的，恐龙鸟龙类生物

It looks actually like you know when Discovery Channel was doing that thing 它看起来确实就像你知道什么时候探索频道在做那件事

on like, you know what if raptors had feathers? 对像，你知道，如果猛龙有羽毛？

(Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah I saw that - I saw that yeah) （哦，是啊，是啊是啊是啊，我看到了 - 我看到了耶）

It looks a lot like that 它看起来很像是

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

But if you're Jesus you don't 但如果你是耶稣，你不

You don't really need Discovery Channel 你并不真的需要探索频道

I mean you've seen the dinosaurs already 我的意思是你见过的恐龙已

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Nah that was uh before I was born actually 罗那呃之前，我实际上出生

(Ahh yeah) Yeah (yeah) （啊是啊）是啊（是啊）

Alright here let's get down to business 好吧，下面就让我们开始谈正事

I've got the list of things you did in your life here (ooh) 我已经得到的东西，你在这里的生活做了列表（户外）

Let's see you were a pretty bad drunk (yeah) 让我们来看看你是一个非常糟糕的醉（耶）

You made a lot of stupid skits on your records (yeah) 您在您的记录做了很多愚蠢的短剧（耶）

You did have thirty thousand MySpace friends 你们这样做，有三万MySpace好友

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Yeah, yeah I did that's, that's true! 是的，我这样做的，这是真的！

(That means something up here) （这意味着什么在这里）

Really? 真的吗？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Yeah, you know who'd be interested to hear that? My buddy Lincoln 是的，你知道是谁很想听到了吗？我的好友林肯

HEY LINCOLN!! You know this guy's got thirty thousand MySpace friends? 嘿林肯！你知道这家伙有三万MySpace的朋友吗？

{Thirty thousand MySpace friends, is he usin bots?} {三万MySpace的朋友，他是全光照机器人？ }

I don't know, I'll ask him - are you usin bots? 我不知道，我会问他 - 你在全光照的机器人？

(No! It's just fan base) （不！这只是粉丝群）

No he's not usin bots, it's just fan base 不，他不是全光照的机器人，它只是粉丝群

{Is he a porn star?} {他是一个色情明星？ }

No it's not a porn star, it's mc chris {HUH!} 不，它不是一个色情明星，这是MC克里斯{呵呵！ }

It's great; I've got, you know everybody 这很棒;我有，你知道大家都

{Hey Beethoven~!! This guy's got thirty thousand MySpace friends} {嘿贝多芬〜 ！这家伙有三万MySpace好友}

from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure up here 比尔和特德的优秀冒险在这里

(Oh that's cool, that's cool) （哦，这很酷，很酷）

It's pretty... it's pretty cool 这实在是太...它很酷

{Thirty thousand MySpace friends! Is he using bots?} {三万MySpace的朋友！他是用机器人？ }

Except uh, Keanu 除了呃，基努

{Huh that's what I asked; nope, no bots} {嗯，这就是我问;不，没有漫游}

And uhh, Alex Winter 和侏儒，亚历克斯冬天

{Is he a porn star?} {他是一个色情明星？ }

What are you deaf? 什么是你聋了吗？

Or is that is that you or Mozart? 或者是，你还是莫扎特？

I can never remember 我永远记得

{BEEEEEEEEP} { } BEEEEEEEEP

   

[Secretary] [秘书]

That dragon bird lady is on line two again 那龙雀女士是两线再次

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Ohhh this dragon bird won't leave me alone 噢噢噢这条龙鸟不会离开我独自一人

(Oh shit Jesus what'll we do?!) （哦，妈的，耶稣那时我们怎么办？ ）

I try to be honest I try to say 我尽量说实话，我试着说

"Dragon bird, it's just a sex thing, I don't want a relationship" “龙鸟，它只是一个做爱的事情，我不想有关系”

(Right, right, right) （右，右，右）

This dragon bird is super into me, you gotta help me 这条龙鸟是超到了我，你得帮帮我

You gotta help me out here 你得帮我在这里

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Well uh Jesus use your powers! 嗯呵，耶稣使用你的权力！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Hmm yes!! How about this? We switch places 嗯，是的！这个怎么样？我们交换位置

You become Jesus, and I'll become you 你成为耶稣，我会成为你

and I'll go down to Earth and enjoy some moderate success as a nerd rapper 我会去到地球，并享受一些适度的成功作为一个书呆子说唱歌手

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Well, I'm not just a nerd rapper 好吧，我不只是一个书呆子说唱歌手

I rap about all kinds of stuff í说唱各种东西

My music kind of transcends boundaries 种我的音乐超越国界

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Uhh suuuuuure it does 呃suuuuuure它

Alright, let's do this thing 好吧，让我们做这件事情

[finger snap] {beeeeep boooop} [手指扣] { beeeeep boooop }

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Oh wow, a real beard, a full beard! 哇哦，一个真正的大胡子，一个完整的胡子！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Oh wow a big fat baby face 哇哦大胖小子脸

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

A robe, a cool robe, and some bad-ass desert sandals! 长袍，一个很酷的长袍，和一些不好的屁股沙漠凉鞋！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Oh look disgusting hobbit feet, great! 哦，看恶心的哈比人的脚，太棒了！

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Well what'll we do now Jesus? 好东西就我们现在要做的耶稣？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Now I'm going to open this trap door down here [door hinge sound] 现在，我要在这儿开这样的陷阱门[门铰链声音]

and climb down this ladder down to Earth 并爬下梯子下到地球

Here I go! Oh okay, over there are towels (right) 在这里，我走了！哦，好吧，那边是毛巾（右）

And the menus are in the drawer (okay) if you want to order out okay? 而且菜单中，如果您想订购了好吗抽屉（好吧） ？

Emergency numbers on the phone (right) 在手机上的紧急号码（右）

And just have fun, remember to have fun 而就玩得开心，记得有乐趣

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

I will Jesus you have fun too (alright byyyye!) 我耶稣你玩得开心过（好吧byyyye ！ ）

Alright later Jesus, good luck! 好了以后，耶稣，祝你好运！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Climbing down the ladder 爬下梯子

Climbing down to earth 登山脚踏实地

Climbing down and I'm climbing down the ladder and oh my God! 爬下，我爬下梯子，天啊！

The ladder ended too soon!!!! (Jesus!) 梯子很快就结束了!!!! （耶稣！ ）

Why didn't they finish building this ladder?!?! (What are you doing?!) 为什么他们不完成建立这个梯子？！？！ （你在干什么？ ）

Oh my God, I'm falling! (Jesus don't fall!) 噢，我的上帝，我跌倒！ （耶稣不倒！ ）

Help me!! (Oh no!) 帮我！ （哦，不！ ）

Use your new Jesus powers to help me! 使用新的耶稣权力，帮帮我吧！

(My new Jesus - what do I do?) （我的新耶稣 - 我该怎么办？ ）

Help me I'm falling! (Uhhh, parachute!) 帮我，我坠落！ （唔，跳伞！ ）

Come on! 来吧！

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Para.. I just conjured up a parachute 第..我只是编造了一个降落伞

Jesus I'm throwing it down to you!! 耶稣，我把它扔落在你身上！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Parachute? That's the worst idea! 降落伞？这是最糟糕的主意！

Don't you know that the laws of physics dictate 难道你不知道，物理定律决定

that two objects at different masses fall at the same speed? 在不同质量的两个物体落下的速度相同？

That parachute (catch the parachute!) 这降落伞（赶降落伞！ ）

No it'll never reach me you idiot 不，它永远不会达到我，你这个白痴

Oh I'm falling! (Catch it, look for the parachute!) 哦，我坠落！ （抓住它，寻找降落伞！ ）

Oh my God I'm hitting the Earth's atmosphere at tremendous speed 哦，我的上帝，我打了地球的大气层以惊人的速度

(Look for the parachute Jesus!) （寻找降落伞耶稣！ ）

Oh the friction is causing me to burn up in the atmosphere 哦摩擦使我燃烧起来的气氛

(Do you see a parachute!?) Oh my God! I don't see a parachute （你看到一个降落伞！？ ）哦，我的上帝！我没有看到一个降落伞

My eyeballs are burning out! (Jesus, Jesus no!) 我的眼球都烧了！ （耶稣，耶稣没有！ ）

Oh my God! I'm burning it hurts so bad! (Oh no, Jesus!) 哦，我的上帝！我烧它伤害了如此糟糕！ （哦，不，耶稣！ ）

Oh my god! I'm ash I'm pure ash and I'm falling to earth! (Oh Jesus!) 哦，我的上帝！我灰我是纯粹的灰，我坠落到地球！ （哦耶稣！ ）

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Oh I'm falling... and I'm lining on the mountain tops 哦，我坠落...... ，我衬上山顶

Oh the cool mountain tops (so peaceful) 哦，凉爽的山风（很平静）

Oh the snow is cooling my charred ash (Jesus is okay, whew) 哦雪制冷我烧焦的灰烬（耶稣是好的，噢）

OH GOD!!!!!!!! Oh skiers are skiing on me! 哦，上帝!!!!!!!!哦滑雪者滑雪的我！

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Ahh Jesus you're being skied on! 耶稣啊你被滑雪吧！

(Skiers are skiing all over me!) （滑雪者滑雪对我的一切！ ）

Oh Jesus! 哦耶稣！

(I don't wanna die here!) （我并不想死在这里！ ）

Oh Jesus you poor soul! 哦，耶稣，你的灵魂可怜！

(Ohhhh and I'm dead) （天上，我已经死了）

You died twice! (I'm dead) 你死了两次！ （我死了）

You're dead twice (I'm dead) 你死了两次（我死了）

   

[harp music playing] [竖琴音乐播放]

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Well that didn't work (sorry dude) 好了，没有工作（对不起伙计）

Obviously I died and, my soul came back to heaven 很显然，我死了，我的灵魂回到了天堂

Hey, are you St. Peter? 嘿，你是圣彼得？

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

What? No, dude 什么？不，伙计

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

No I'm just fuckin with ya! [laughing] 不，我只是用雅他妈的！ [偷笑]

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

You're always fuckin with me Jesus you son of a 你总是他妈的跟我的耶稣，你的儿子

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Oh man I got you 哦，人我给你

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

You got me! 你有我！

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

Hey kid! 嘿小子！

   

[mc chris] [MC克里斯]

Yeah? 是吗？

   

[Jesus] [耶稣]

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE! 滚出我的办公室主任！

OHHH, BAAAH, WOWWWWWWWWWW! Phoebe：哦， BAAAH ， WOWWWWWWWWWW ！