"This next story is a true story. “这接下来的故事是一个真实的故事。

It concerns two of my favorite subjects: 它涉及2我最喜欢的科目：

industrial theft . . . and-a t-ts! 工业被盗。 。 。和 - a T- TS ！

Mmm, what a combo! This is the story . . . 嗯，什么组合！这是故事。 。 。

The inventor of the modern foundation garment 现代基础服装的发明者

that we women wear today was a German scientist 我们女人今天穿的是德国科学家

and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling! 和歌剧爱好者奥托Titsling的名字！

This is a true story. 这是一个真实的故事。

His name was Otto Titsling. 他的名字叫奥托Titsling 。

What happened to Otto Titsling shouldn't happen to a schnauzer. 发生了什么事奥托Titsling不应该发生在一个雪纳瑞。

It's a very sad story. I feel I have to share it with you." 这是一个非常悲伤的故事。我觉得我要与你分享。 “

   

Otto Titsling, inventor and kraut, 奥托Titsling ，发明家和泡菜，

had nothing to get very worked up about. 什么都没有得到很激动的。

His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak. 他的发明是失败的，他的未来看起来黯淡。

He fled to the opera at least twice a week. 他一个星期逃到歌剧至少两次。

   

One night at the opera he saw an Aida 有一天晚上在剧院，他看到了阿依

who's t-ts were so big they would often impede her. 谁是T- TS是如此之大，他们往往会阻碍她。

Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit, 跌破眼镜，他看着她掉进坑里，

done in by the weight of those terrible t-ts. 由那些可怕叔TS的重量进行中。

   

Oh, my god! There she blows! 哦，我的上帝！在那里，她吹！

Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess. 空气动力学这个婊子是一个烂摊子。

Otto eyeballed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds, 奥托eyeballed的女主角躺在昏迷当中的芦苇，

and he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration 他忽然觉得灵感之火

flood his soul. He knew what he had to do! 淹没了他的灵魂。他知道他必须做！

He ran back to his workshop 他跑回自己的工作室

where he futzed and futzed and futzed. 在那里，他futzed和futzed和futzed 。

   

For Otto Titsling had found his quest: 对于奥托Titsling找到了他的追求：

to lift and mold the female breast; 提升和塑造女性的乳房;

to point the small ones to the sky; 指向天空中的小者;

to keep the big ones high and dry! 保持大的高，干！

   

Every night he'd sweat and snort 每天晚上，他会出汗，打鼾

searching for the right support. 寻找合适的支持。

He tried some string and paper clips. 他尝试了一些字符串和文件夹。

Hey! He even tried his own two lips! 嘿！他甚至尝试过自己的两片嘴唇！

   

Well, he stitched and he slaved 嗯，他缝合，他苦练

and he slaved and he stitched 他苦练，他缝合

until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning, 直到最后一天晚上，在凌晨早上，

Otto arose from his workbench triumphant. 奥托源于他的工作台胜利。

Yes! He had invented the worlds first 是的！他第一次发明了世界

over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray! 过度的肩巨石持有人。万岁！

   

Exhausted but ecstatic he ran 筋疲力尽，但他欣喜若狂跑

down the street to the diva's house 沿街的小天后的家

bearing the prototype in his hot little hand. 轴承的原型在他的热乎乎的小手。

Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on. 现在，耍大牌不想尝试的混账东西。

But, after many initial misgivings, 但是，许多最初的疑虑之后，

she finally did. 她终于做到了。

And the sigh of relief that issued forth 和救济的叹息发出第四

from the diva's mouth 从女歌手的口中

was so loud that it was mistaken by some 是如此响亮，这是错误的一些

to be the early onset of the Siroccan Winds 是发病初期的Siroccan风

which would often roll through the Schwarzwald 这往往会通过推出黑森林

with a vengeance! 以复仇！

Ahhhhh-i! AHHHHH -I ！

   

But little did Otto know, 但没想到奥托知道，

at the moment of his greatest triumph, 他最大的胜利的那一刻，

lurking under the diva's bed 耍大牌的床下潜伏

was none other than the very worst 不是别人，正是最糟糕的其它

of the French patent thieves, 法国专利盗贼，

Philippe DeBrassiere. 菲利普DeBrassiere 。

And Phil was watching the scene 和菲尔在看现场

with a great deal of interest! 有极大的兴趣！

   

Later that night, while our Brun Hilda slept, 那天晚上，当我们的布伦希尔达睡，

into the wardrobe Philippe softly crept. 进入衣柜菲利普轻声蹑手蹑脚。

He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore, 他摸索着穿过短裤和胸衣的称誉，

'til he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door. “直到他发现奥托的titsling ，他跑出了门。

   

Crying, "Oh, my god! What joy! What bliss! 哭了， “噢，我的上帝！什么快乐！什么幸福！

I'm gonna make me a million from this! 我要让我脱离这取一百万！

Every woman in the world will wanna buy one. 每个女人在世界上会想要买一个。

I can have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan." 我可以拥有所有在台湾生产的商品。 “

   

"Oh, thank you!" “哦，谢谢你！ ”

   

The result of this swindle is pointedly clear: 这个骗局的结果是明确的针对性：

Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere? 你买titsling还是你买一个胸罩？

   

"Ohhh! Thank you!" “噢噢噢！谢谢！ ”