The first time I ate avocado was so amazing that I came 我第一次吃牛油果是如此惊人的，我来了

   

And that was the first time that I came so the only thing I could compare it to is the taste of avocado. Pretty much the same 而那是我第一次来，所以我可以把它比作是鳄梨的味道嘛。几乎相同的

   

The first time I got high, I ran into my friend's bedroom and I hung onto each corner of the mattress because I knew that I would be flung into space if I didn't hold tight 我第一次拿到高，我碰到了我朋友的卧室，我挂到床垫的每个角落，因为我知道我会被关进了空间，如果我没抱得很紧

   

Two years before that I went to my first concert. I was high all night. And the first time someone clapped for me on stage I floated three inches off the pavement walking home 两年之前，我去了我的第一场演唱会。我是高一整夜。和第一次有人拍了拍我的I期浮动3英寸离人行道步行回家

   

Only one girl has ever really wrapped my stomach into pretzels. She didn't give me butterflies. She gave me pterodactyls 只有一个女孩曾经真的很缠我的胃进入饼干。她没有让我心花怒放。她给我的翼手龙

I'm talking terrible internal bruising and the first time I kissed her was like the first time I saw fireworks, which was like the sky first kissing me in the eyeballs 我说的可怕的内部瘀伤和我第一次吻了她就像我第一次看到焰火，这就像天上第一吻我的眼球

   

In high school the self-defense counselor taught us that to defend ourselves against a rapist, by sticking a thumb into the corner of his eye socket and popping it out like a grape 在高中时的自卫辅导员告诉我们，保卫​​自己不受强奸犯，在坚持一个拇指伸进眼窝的角落，弹出它像葡萄

Babe, for the chance to be with you, I would pop my own eyeballs out and say, "Here. I only have eyes for you." 贝贝，对于有机会和你在一起，我会跳出自己的眼球了，说： “在这里，我的眼里只有你。”

So everywhere you went you'd carry me around in your pocket and every time you pulled out a handful of loose change I'd get to wink at you and a thousand miles away you would think of how charming I am- me- weaving blindly through LA traffic. You- in some bullshit other place 所以，无论你走到你背着我身边在你的口袋里，每次掏出一把零钱的时候，我会去眨眼在你于千里之外，你会想我是多么迷人的上午我 - 编织盲目通过洛杉矶的交通。你 - 在一些废话其他地方

   

But you shouldn't leave first times until the end of summer 但你不应该离开前，直到夏天结束

Because you went off to college, years passed, and I realized I was the only one calling anymore 因为你去上大学，几年过去了，我意识到我是唯一一个呼吁了

And that first kiss hardened into the last. My love: retarded, preserved, a pterodactyl in a tar pit, the music over before it started, a lost guitar pick 而且初吻硬化成最后。我的爱：智障，保存完好，在焦油坑翼龙，音乐就开始前结束了，丢失的吉他拨片

I've stopped trying to match it, searching for that magical attachment 我已经不再想与之匹敌，寻找那神奇的附件

   

Because marriages are not fucking Disney 因为婚姻不是他妈的迪士尼

Bad marriages are sandcastles 坏的婚姻是沙堡

Good marriages are McDonald's hamburgers 良好的婚姻是麦当劳的汉堡包

You can leave a good marriage on a plate in the sun for fifty years and it stays pretty much the same 您可以留下一个美好的婚姻在一盘在阳光下50码，它保持几乎相同的

   

They key, I hear, is to fight routine- to make the smallest moments gleam and mean something 他们钥匙，我听到的，是要争取routine- ，使最小的时刻闪闪意味着什么

   

And if you ever feel yourself fading, face paint your old and aging creased-up cheeks gold-plated with a jar of first-time and if you need a youthful spruce-up just grab a tube of that new juice and lube up and if you're hurting just rub the good stuff where you're burning 如果你觉得自己的衰落，脸上画你的旧的和老皱，两颊镀金与首次罐子，如果你需要一个年轻的云杉行动只是抓住了新的果汁和润滑油管了，如果你受了伤只是擦了好东西，你正在燃烧

   

But a word of warning 不过提醒一句

The first time tends to make the bad times worse 首次倾向于使不好的时候更糟

There's the rub 还有擦

It doesn't make things better, just louder 它不会使事情变得更好，只是更响亮

It amplifies a murmur... er-er 它放大杂音......呃，呃

Great is greater. Greater is greaterer. And broke... is broker. Bone... is boner 大是大。更大的是greaterer 。并打破了...是经纪人。骨...是蠢蛋

It's not a perfect formula 这不是一个完美的公式

   

But the first time that I kissed you, the door of your crappy Civic already half-open, you said "I'm glad you did that." 但第一次我吻了你，你蹩脚的公民的门已经半开，你说：“我很高兴你这样做。 ”

And I have a feeling that, for you, it wasn't a first-time 我有一种感觉，对你来说，这不是首次

It was a "this one time." 这是一个“这一次。 ”

But I will remember that moment for the rest of my life, even if I have to arm wrestle Alzheimer's for it 但我会记得那一刻我的余生，即使我有武装角力老年痴呆吧

   

And if I ever get a chance to kiss you again, you know, a second time, I'm gonna stick my tongue out and lick you right across your face. Because I've already kissed you. But I never licked you 如果我曾经有机会再吻你，你知道，第二次，我会坚持我的舌头舔你对面，你的脸。因为我已经吻了你。但我从来没有你舔着

And you'll say, "Ugh. Why did you do that?" And I'll say, "Hey sexy. Did someone slap you across the face with a banana slug or is that a big shiny trail of first-time on your cheek. Maybe we can go back to my place and gets some first-time on the sheets." 而你会说： “哎，你为什么要那样做？ ”我会说， “嘿性感。是否有人拍你整个脸香蕉蛞蝓或者是，第一次在你的脸颊一大闪亮的足迹，也许我们可以回到我的地方，并得到了一些第一次上表“ 。

   

It's worth it 这是值得的

After all, there's nothing like the first time 毕竟，没有什么比在第一时间

The first time's always perfect 第一次总是完美