I tripped down the stairs at the mall 我绊倒下楼在商场

I got my arm stuck between a pole and a wall 我得到了我的手臂插着一根杆和墙壁之间

A whole bunch of people they saw 一大堆的人，他们看到

And I just happened to fall and land on my crush 而我刚好落在土地上我的暗恋

   

“So when’s the baby due?” She said, “I’m not pregnant!” “所以，当是由于宝宝吗？”她说， “我没有怀孕！ ”

Yeah, my mom’s got a Facebook 是啊，我妈的有一个Facebook

   

In 3rd grade I went to a class swimming party, 在三年级的我去了一个游泳班聚会，

I was the only one in a speedo, Neato 我是唯一一个在速度表， Neato

I tried to climb out of my bedroom window with a bed sheet, but 我试图爬上了我的卧室的窗户用床单，但

I fell and bruised my tailbone 我跌倒和擦伤我的尾骨

Sneezing too hard on your crush and your dreams are crushed 打喷嚏太辛苦你暗恋和你的梦想被粉碎

I’m the master of awkward moments 我尴尬的时刻的主

   

I peed myself in church 我教会自己撒尿

I walked face first into a 2x4 sticking out, it hurt 我第一次走进面成2x4的伸了出来，疼

I triggered the fire alarm at school, oh í引发学校火灾报警哦

I thought that was cool 我认为这是很酷

At the country fair had to throw a ball to win a goldfish 在国家公平只好丢一球，赢得了金鱼

I threw the ball, broke a glass, fish went flying, and 我扔球，打破了玻璃，鱼被打飞，并

It landed in this girl’s bra...at the country fair 它降落在这个女孩的胸罩......在国家公平

   

“So when’s the baby due?” She said, “I’m not pregnant!” “所以，当是由于宝宝吗？”她说， “我没有怀孕！ ”

Yeah, my mom’s got a Facebook 是啊，我妈的有一个Facebook

   

I tripped down the stairs at the mall 我绊倒下楼在商场

I got my arm stuck between a pole and a wall 我得到了我的手臂插着一根杆和墙壁之间

A whole bunch of people they saw 一大堆的人，他们看到

And I just happened to fall and land on my crush 而我刚好落在土地上我的暗恋

   

I ripped my pants on the dance floor, dope! 我一把我的裤子在舞池中，涂料！

I tried to pull open a door, for ten minutes, 我试着拉开门，十分钟，

It was a push door, oh, dope! 这是一推门，呵呵，涂料！

   

I had ants in my pants and my left me half naked 我在裤子有蚂蚁和我离开了我半裸

In the street to go get clothes, ok 在街上走拿衣服，好吗

And my brother recorded me singing “I believe I can fly” 和我弟弟记录我唱“我相信我能飞”

Played it on the school T.V., I believe I can die!! 玩过学校电视上，我相信我可以死！

Farted on a bus and woke myself up 放屁在公共汽车上和自己醒了

I slipped and fell into cow manure, yup. 我滑了一跤，掉进牛粪，是啊。

   

Walked into a glass door and knocked myself out 走进玻璃门，敲了我自己

Most embarrassing moment: Every time I open my mouth 最尴尬的时刻：每次我打开我的嘴

I’ve said, “What’s up Dad?” to a complete stanger 我说， “怎么了爸爸？ ”一个完整的斯坦格

Took too many shots of Jäger 耶格尔了太多的镜头

My tampon fell out at a waterpark 我的棉球掉了出来，在水上乐园

I was drunk and thought she could fly, wow 我当时喝醉了，以为她能飞，哇

   

“So when’s the baby due?” She said, “I’m not pregnant!” “所以，当是由于宝宝吗？”她说， “我没有怀孕！ ”

Yeah, my mom’s got a Facebook 是啊，我妈的有一个Facebook

   

I tripped down the stairs at the mall 我绊倒下楼在商场

I got my arm stuck between a pole and a wall 我得到了我的手臂插着一根杆和墙壁之间

A whole bunch of people they saw 一大堆的人，他们看到

And I just happened to fall and land on my crush 而我刚好落在土地上我的暗恋