[Scratches in] [划痕]

   

Go back to your dorm... you got your roommates and that never works out. 回到你的宿舍......你有你的室友，并且从来没有工作了。

   

[Crowd laughs] [围观笑]

   

That never works out. They don't want it to work out... they... they want it so 这永远不会奏效的。他们不希望它的工作了......他们......他们希望这样

it's like a Real World episode in your dorm room. [Crowd Laughs] Like I don't 这就像在你的宿舍里一个真实的事件。 [围观笑]就像我不

understand... like they have those compatibility tests you filled out at the 明白......像他们这些兼容性测试您填写的

beginning of the year... that's such a joke that test you fill out of the 来测试你开始的一年...这是这样一个笑话填写的

beginning of the year... it's like 新年伊始......它就像

   

[in character voice: student] [中字的声音：学生]

Umm I like rock and roll... I like staying out 嗯，我喜欢摇滚...我喜欢在外面

late... and I love the ladies oh yea OOOO! 晚...和我爱的淑女啊是啊OOOO ！

   

[Crowd Laughs] [围观笑]

   

[As adult] [成人]

Okay we've got a perfect roommate for you he's an opera major, he's 好了，我们已经有了一个完美的室友给你他的歌剧专业，他的

a narcoleptic and he's gay so go fight each other... we've got four camera angles à发作性睡眠病，他的同性恋，所以还是打对方......我们已经有了4的摄像角度

... that'll be perfect welcome to college... go screw your self ......那将是完美的，欢迎大专以上......去拧你的自我

   

[as student] [作为学生]

HUH yeah that's what we say here go ahead. HUH是啊，这就是我们在这里说下去。

   

[Jimmy Normally] [吉米通常情况下]

Then you think you say okay I got Pete my buddy from high 那么你觉得你说好吧，我得到了皮特我的朋友高

school is coming up he's gonna be my room mate it's gonna be awesome...No that is 学校来了，他会是我的室友这会是真棒...没有说是

never awesome it doesn't work out... No it doesn't [Laughter] hate to tell you... 从来真棒它不工作了......不，不（笑）不想告诉你......

you will fight each other... you will just get... you just get ... I tell you why one 你会打对方...你只会得到......你只能......我告诉你为什么一个人

is they have too much dirt on you... your friend from home has too much dirt 是他们有太多的污垢，你......从家里你的朋友有太多的污垢

they'll kill you they'll crush you in an argument for no reason like you just say 他们会杀了你，他们会粉碎你的说法没有任何理由像你刚才说的

   

"Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for two weeks man they're your dishes “嗨，哥们的菜已经在沉了两个星期的人，他们是你的菜

are you going to clean them or what?" 你要清除它们还是什么？ “

   

[Roommates voice] "Yea... you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade [室友声音]“是啊......你还记得你上六年级了螃蟹

   

[Crowd Laughs] [围观笑]

[LONG PAUSE] [长时间的停顿]

   

"Not fair to bring up my crabs." “不公平，使我的螃蟹。 ”