Once upon a time, there was a frog named Andy. 很久很久以前，有一个叫安迪的青蛙。

Andy lived at the Patten Park Pond and had never hopped anywhere else his entire frog life. 安迪住在彭定康公园池塘和从未跳上任何地方他的整个青蛙的生活。

He had 3 best friends. 他有3个最要好的朋友。

Millie- who never left her lily pad, Billie- who was always hopping mad, and Roger- who was arrested for possession of tadpole porn. Millie-谁从来没有离开过她的蕸， Billie-谁总是跳疯了， Roger-谁藏蝌蚪色情被捕。

So one day, Andy saw something hop across the grass on the other side of the pond! 所以有一天，安迪看到的东西跳穿过草地上的池塘的另一边！

"Millie, Billie, Roger, look!" said Andy. “米莉，比莉，罗杰，你看！ ”安迪说。

Across the pond stood the most beautiful frog that Andy had ever seen. 整个池塘站在安迪所见过的最美丽的青蛙。

"She's gorgeous!" said Millie. “她的华丽！ ”米莉说。

"She's beautiful!" said Billie. “她很漂亮！ ”比利说。

"BIT OLD FOR MY TASTE." said Roger. “有点老对我的口味。 ”罗杰说。

(Classic Roger.) （经典罗杰。 ）

And then she was gone. 然后她就消失了。

"I need to go find her," said Andy, "I need to follow my little frog heart." “我要去找她，”安迪说， “我要按照我的小青蛙心脏”。

So Andy followed the beautiful frogs footsteps into the forest. 所以，安迪跟着美丽的青蛙的脚步进了森林。

He then came across a turtle. 然后，他遇到了一只乌龟。

"You can't pass!" said the turtle. “你无法通过！ ”说乌龟。

"Please?" said Andy. “求你了？ ”安迪说。

"NO." said the turtle. “没有。 ”说乌龟。

(and uh, this is the first long, convoluted simile.) （呵，这是第一次长时间的，令人费解的比喻。 ）

Then, there was a rustling in the bushes, and like a man who had been shot in the chest with a rifle, the turtle was shot in the chest with a rifle. 然后，有一个在草丛沙沙声，而像一个男人谁被枪杀在胸前用步枪，乌龟被子弹击中胸部用步枪。

Andy kept moving, but at this point, like the doctor of a Kenyan track team, his patience ran thin. 安迪不停地移动，但在这一点上，像肯尼亚田径队的医生，他的耐心跑瘦。

Andy kept moving. 安迪不停地移动。

He then came across a giant crocodile, and the crocodile began to chant: 然后，他遇到了一个巨大的鳄鱼和鳄鱼开始吟诵：

"I woke up this morning and I sat on a log, I opened up the menu and the menu said frog!" “我早上醒来的时候，我坐在一根圆木，我打开了菜单和菜单说青蛙！ ”

Andy said, "NO! No, please let go of me, I can feel myself dying, you're ripping up my insides, I'm never gonna find her am I, there's no god is there, fuck, fuck!" 安迪说， “不，不，请放开我，我能感觉到自己快死了，你撕了我的内心，我绝不会找她就是我，有没有上帝是存在的，他妈的，他妈的！ ”

The End. 结束。

(If you're curious the moral of that story is irrelevant because we're humans, and it was about a.. why would it apply to us?) （如果你很好奇这个故事的寓意是无关紧要的，因为我们是人类，这是关于一个..为什么把它应用到我们吗？ ）